No one likes getting punched in the gut by perfume.

The way I understand it, your sense of smell tends to "go" when you get older. Apparently, no one who is actually old understands this.

If it only took two pumps of your perfume when you were 20, it only takes two pumps of your perfume when you're 60. Please, just believe me on this.

Someone should invent a technology that can tell how old a person is by touch. It should be applied to perfume and cologne bottles in such a way that when it recognizes old people fingers, it absolutely doesn't spray more than the amount necessary to smell nice without also knocking over everyone within a 10 foot radius. Said technology will then reset no sooner than 24 hours later.
I'd ban the sale of perfume and cologne to old people, but then they'd just get youngins to buy it in a vaguely ironic 180 of the kid outside 7-11 begging adults to buy him a forty of Schlitz Malt Liquor. Besides, I wouldn't want to be a complete asshole about this.



I realize there are plenty of people with perfectly young olfactory senses who offend the same way. They should simply be drug out in the street and shot in the arm. At least the kids don't wear Opium.