Pro-Life Asshats

If you're pro-life for yourself, but don't deign to tell me whether or not to have an abortion, I'm not talking to you. If you're pro-life but you realize the absolute necessity of better sex education, better access to birth control, better and affordable childcare options, and generally understand the big picture about what it would take to reduce the number of abortions, I'm not talking to you.

If you think abortion and/or birth control should be illegal or any harder to get than they already are, I'm talking to you. If you think any bit of my worth as a human being, nay a woman, lies in my ability or willingness to have children, I'm talking to you.

I am so sick of taking the high road. I am tired of pretending like I give two shits about where you're coming from. I'm so over making logical arguments in the face of fucktards who decry government intrusion into their own lives and pocketbooks while they simultaneously think Uncle Sam should tell me and my doctor what to do with my uterus. I'm beyond trying to get them to understand their own shitty attitude about children as punishments for sex. I'm done politely trying to get them to examine their stupid assumptions that being married magically equals either a readiness or willingness to have children.

Fuck you. I hope one of your distant family members gets sick and needs your kidney. You won't really want to give up that kidney and forever change your life, but they're family, right? I hope everyone around you guilts you into it. Then I hope you resent that second cousin for the rest of your altered life. Sure, you'll feel good about saving his life - every other Christmas when you see him for a day at Grandma's house. But will your smug self-satisfaction last you until the next time you get together? I sure hope so, because it's all you'll have left.

Or I hope you turn out to be sterile. I'm fine with either.

If I could rip out my uterus and stomp all over it with stiletto heels, I would do it in front of every flaming idiot who thinks my worth lies in the contents of said body part. That's what I think of your opinions on childbearing. Fucktards, the lot of you.

A year of pent up rage

OK, so it's been over a year. To my knowledge, only one friend of mine reads this thing *waves to Misty* but she has been telling me to get back to it.

Get back to it, I shall. I have to warn you though, I've been stumbling and following a few very awesome tumblr accounts.

Rage to follow soon.

Happy Mother's Day

Every Mother's Day it seems, the articles circulate about how much moms would get paid, if only they got paid for being moms.
I understand the idea of getting the public conversation going and appreciate the importance of good parenting. But there's the rub, GOOD parenting-INVOLVED parenting-is what's important. And parenting implies dads, as well. So the good intentions of such articles usually get lost as nutjobs who think moms really should get this imaginary money start mouthing off.

You know what? Moms do get paid. They get paid in food-covered kisses and shitty macaroni art. And every other day of the year, I'm told how worth it being a mom is. You love your job? Good, now shut the fuck up about your paycheck.

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

What the hell makes anyone think that quotes--inspirational, religious, or otherwise--are in any way appropriate on work emails? In my estimation, it's just as bad as using Comic Sans on... anything, really. 

Just in case I'm not making myself clear...

No one at work gives a flying fuck what inspires you and they damn sure aren't inspired by some stupid little quote at the bottom of your emails. During the work day, no one gives a shit what Mother Teresa said. No one cares what your favorite bible verse is. No one likes the "clever" little way you view life or adversity or anything outside the day's business. 

If you have useless crap like that on your work emails, you're an unprofessional twat. 

No one likes getting punched in the gut by perfume.

The way I understand it, your sense of smell tends to "go" when you get older. Apparently, no one who is actually old understands this.

If it only took two pumps of your perfume when you were 20, it only takes two pumps of your perfume when you're 60. Please, just believe me on this.

Someone should invent a technology that can tell how old a person is by touch. It should be applied to perfume and cologne bottles in such a way that when it recognizes old people fingers, it absolutely doesn't spray more than the amount necessary to smell nice without also knocking over everyone within a 10 foot radius. Said technology will then reset no sooner than 24 hours later.
I'd ban the sale of perfume and cologne to old people, but then they'd just get youngins to buy it in a vaguely ironic 180 of the kid outside 7-11 begging adults to buy him a forty of Schlitz Malt Liquor. Besides, I wouldn't want to be a complete asshole about this.



I realize there are plenty of people with perfectly young olfactory senses who offend the same way. They should simply be drug out in the street and shot in the arm. At least the kids don't wear Opium.

Cheap Bastards

Is $200 (per couple) really too much to pay for three days worth of events at a high school reunion? I figure my failure to baulk at this number is either a sign of my success and/or the taint of living in the Washington DC area and dealing with high prices on everything.
Now I get that we're in hard economic times. For the most part, I grew up living below the poverty level. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but some of the people crying about this sound like cheap bastards. I understand the reluctance for people who have to travel. I happen to be making a twelve hour drive, so add to my $200 entry fee the gas, hotel, and food involved to be able to see these folks after a decade (even I am staying with family friends for at least part of this trip to save money--I'm not against frugality). I do not understand the motivation of the people who live there to complain, though. I suppose when you're in podunk nowheresville Georgia, $200 might very well be a lot of money...
I am so glad I don't live in that pissant know-nothing tiny town. You couldn't even pay me enough to move back to that state, proximity to a big city be damned.

Despite my hatred for BFE, Georgia, I am looking forward to this reunion. It's nice to have something to show for my ten years away from hell.

Sarah Palin

Despite glaring proof in her own family that abstinence only sex education doesn’t work, this brood mare is likely still going to support it. From what I hear, she doesn’t even believe in the use of condoms, either. She just had her fifth kid, and at 44, is it any wonder that it was born with Down Syndrome? Statistically, she was kinda asking for it. But really, how much time does she actually spend with the kids since she’s such a busy politician? I’m sure her nanny will keep her insulated from understanding what real families go through who have special needs kids. (OK, I don't really know if she has a nanny. Though if she doesn't have one now, I imagine she won't be able to be the Veep without one. That or dear old dad will play daddy and mommy. In either case, the woman will remain clueless as to life in the real world for working class families.)
Obviously, this is the move the Republican Party needed to get those evangelicals on board. What better way to get them salivating at the mouth than to put in front of them a pro-life nutbag who (from what I hear) doesn’t even care about possible danger to the life of the mother? (It has been confirmed that she doesn’t support abortion even in cases of rape or incest, though.)
I can only hope that women are smart enough not to fall for the bullshit. It’s like they expect women are going to all of a sudden think to themselves, “She has a vagina. I have a vagina. Why, I should vote for her!” Somehow though, I don’t hold out much hope for the average American to see through the pandering on this one.
I’m ok with new blood and not a ton of experience being in the White House, but damn if I want that wench so close the presidency. And let’s face it, with John McCain’s age, Palin will be closer to the possibility on a daily basis than most Vice Presidents have been. I heard, but have yet to confirm, that her husband used to work for BP and that she sued the Interior Department to get polar bears off the endangered species list. So maybe she’s not new blood after all…