If Hell exists, we'll probably go there.

Pro-Life Asshats

2010-06-04T17:23:00.005-04:00

If you're pro-life for yourself, but don't deign to tell me whether or not to have an abortion, I'm not talking to you. If you're pro-life but you realize the absolute necessity of better sex education, better access to birth control, better and affordable childcare options, and generally understand the big picture about what it would take to reduce the number of abortions, I'm not talking to you.

If you think abortion and/or birth control should be illegal or any harder to get than they already are, I'm talking to you. If you think any bit of my worth as a human being, nay a woman, lies in my ability or willingness to have children, I'm talking to you.

I am so sick of taking the high road. I am tired of pretending like I give two shits about where you're coming from. I'm so over making logical arguments in the face of fucktards who decry government intrusion into their own lives and pocketbooks while they simultaneously think Uncle Sam should tell me and my doctor what to do with my uterus. I'm beyond trying to get them to understand their own shitty attitude about children as punishments for sex. I'm done politely trying to get them to examine their stupid assumptions that being married magically equals either a readiness or willingness to have children.

Fuck you. I hope one of your distant family members gets sick and needs your kidney. You won't really want to give up that kidney and forever change your life, but they're family, right? I hope everyone around you guilts you into it. Then I hope you resent that second cousin for the rest of your altered life. Sure, you'll feel good about saving his life - every other Christmas when you see him for a day at Grandma's house. But will your smug self-satisfaction last you until the next time you get together? I sure hope so, because it's all you'll have left.

Or I hope you turn out to be sterile. I'm fine with either.

If I could rip out my uterus and stomp all over it with stiletto heels, I would do it in front of every flaming idiot who thinks my worth lies in the contents of said body part. That's what I think of your opinions on childbearing. Fucktards, the lot of you.

A year of pent up rage

2010-06-04T16:44:00.003-04:00

OK, so it's been over a year. To my knowledge, only one friend of mine reads this thing *waves to Misty* but she has been telling me to get back to it.

Get back to it, I shall. I have to warn you though, I've been stumbling and following a few very awesome tumblr accounts.

Rage to follow soon.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-09T22:09:00.004-04:00

Every Mother's Day it seems, the articles circulate about how much moms would get paid, if only they got paid for being moms.
I understand the idea of getting the public conversation going and appreciate the importance of good parenting. But there's the rub, GOOD parenting-INVOLVED parenting-is what's important. And parenting implies dads, as well. So the good intentions of such articles usually get lost as nutjobs who think moms really should get this imaginary money start mouthing off.

You know what? Moms do get paid. They get paid in food-covered kisses and shitty macaroni art. And every other day of the year, I'm told how worth it being a mom is. You love your job? Good, now shut the fuck up about your paycheck.

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

2009-03-18T07:57:00.002-04:00

What the hell makes anyone think that quotes--inspirational, religious, or otherwise--are in any way appropriate on work emails? In my estimation, it's just as bad as using Comic Sans on... anything, really.

Just in case I'm not making myself clear...

No one at work gives a flying fuck what inspires you and they damn sure aren't inspired by some stupid little quote at the bottom of your emails. During the work day, no one gives a shit what Mother Teresa said. No one cares what your favorite bible verse is. No one likes the "clever" little way you view life or adversity or anything outside the day's business.

If you have useless crap like that on your work emails, you're an unprofessional twat.

No one likes getting punched in the gut by perfume.

2009-01-26T18:25:00.003-05:00

The way I understand it, your sense of smell tends to "go" when you get older. Apparently, no one who is actually old understands this.

If it only took two pumps of your perfume when you were 20, it only takes two pumps of your perfume when you're 60. Please, just believe me on this.

Someone should invent a technology that can tell how old a person is by touch. It should be applied to perfume and cologne bottles in such a way that when it recognizes old people fingers, it absolutely doesn't spray more than the amount necessary to smell nice without also knocking over everyone within a 10 foot radius. Said technology will then reset no sooner than 24 hours later.
I'd ban the sale of perfume and cologne to old people, but then they'd just get youngins to buy it in a vaguely ironic 180 of the kid outside 7-11 begging adults to buy him a forty of Schlitz Malt Liquor. Besides, I wouldn't want to be a complete asshole about this.

I realize there are plenty of people with perfectly young olfactory senses who offend the same way. They should simply be drug out in the street and shot in the arm. At least the kids don't wear Opium.

What Happened to God?

2008-11-06T15:53:00.002-05:00

The night of the election, while I was bathing in my ecstatic sea of emotions, I started perusing people's status updates on Facebook. Most were pretty much parallel to my own feelings... except for one. It read:

"xx hopes everyone is happy with their new 'savior.' What happened to God???"

Well, let's ask Sarah Palin. She seems to know God pretty well.

"I know at the end of the day putting this in God’s hands, the right thing for America will be done, at the end of the day on Nov. 4.” -- Sarah Palin, in an interview with Dr. James Dobson of "Focus on the Family"

Hey, I guess God's a Democrat now! Thanks, God!

I'm gonna lay it out as clear as I can: I despise the idea of God. I despise religion. I despise those who think everyone should bow before their absentee landlord of a deity and give up all their will to him. People like the person who posted that original Facebook status need to understand something: There are people in this country who do not want to be governed by your god, your religion or your morals. There are people who don't believe in it, solemnly swear against it, or simply believe something else entirely. Your God has no right to tell us how to live, and he also has no right running this country. This country was founded on the principle of us having both freedom of religion and freedom FROM religion.

And I'll sum up everything I feel in two words: Fuck God.

I've wanted to say that ever since I read her status. We don't need or want God. Religion is everything that has been wrong with this world since time began, and it's the root of everything that's wrong today. We're better off without religion because it's a weak-minded crutch for people who can't or won't think for themselves. People who are too weak to bear their own burdens. People who who are afraid of what's happening. They don't act; they pray, as if that will do any good.

You can't tell me that California passing Proposition 8 (the ban of gay marriage) was about "preserving the definition of a traditional marriage" and about maintaining the ideal family environment for kids. Fuck that. It's a thinly veiled discriminatory law meant to serve people's idiotic and intolerant faith in God. You know the reason people think that gay parents wouldn't be good for kids? Because people still exist that discriminate against them. It's like saying "well, you're not good enough to raise kids because we still want to be able to call you faggots and tell our kids how wrong God thinks your lifestyle is." That's utter bullshit and it infuriates me.

Get off of your religious fucking soapbox and give people the EQUAL RIGHTS they deserve. Your religion is poison. God has no place in the government of this country, so take it somewhere else.

Cheap Bastards

2008-09-29T08:07:00.002-04:00

Is $200 (per couple) really too much to pay for three days worth of events at a high school reunion? I figure my failure to baulk at this number is either a sign of my success and/or the taint of living in the Washington DC area and dealing with high prices on everything.
Now I get that we're in hard economic times. For the most part, I grew up living below the poverty level. I'm not trying to be insensitive, but some of the people crying about this sound like cheap bastards. I understand the reluctance for people who have to travel. I happen to be making a twelve hour drive, so add to my $200 entry fee the gas, hotel, and food involved to be able to see these folks after a decade (even I am staying with family friends for at least part of this trip to save money--I'm not against frugality). I do not understand the motivation of the people who live there to complain, though. I suppose when you're in podunk nowheresville Georgia, $200 might very well be a lot of money...
I am so glad I don't live in that pissant know-nothing tiny town. You couldn't even pay me enough to move back to that state, proximity to a big city be damned.

Despite my hatred for BFE, Georgia, I am looking forward to this reunion. It's nice to have something to show for my ten years away from hell.

Sarah Palin

2008-09-02T10:29:00.004-04:00

Despite glaring proof in her own family that abstinence only sex education doesn’t work, this brood mare is likely still going to support it. From what I hear, she doesn’t even believe in the use of condoms, either. She just had her fifth kid, and at 44, is it any wonder that it was born with Down Syndrome? Statistically, she was kinda asking for it. But really, how much time does she actually spend with the kids since she’s such a busy politician? I’m sure her nanny will keep her insulated from understanding what real families go through who have special needs kids. (OK, I don't really know if she has a nanny. Though if she doesn't have one now, I imagine she won't be able to be the Veep without one. That or dear old dad will play daddy and mommy. In either case, the woman will remain clueless as to life in the real world for working class families.)
Obviously, this is the move the Republican Party needed to get those evangelicals on board. What better way to get them salivating at the mouth than to put in front of them a pro-life nutbag who (from what I hear) doesn’t even care about possible danger to the life of the mother? (It has been confirmed that she doesn’t support abortion even in cases of rape or incest, though.)
I can only hope that women are smart enough not to fall for the bullshit. It’s like they expect women are going to all of a sudden think to themselves, “She has a vagina. I have a vagina. Why, I should vote for her!” Somehow though, I don’t hold out much hope for the average American to see through the pandering on this one.
I’m ok with new blood and not a ton of experience being in the White House, but damn if I want that wench so close the presidency. And let’s face it, with John McCain’s age, Palin will be closer to the possibility on a daily basis than most Vice Presidents have been. I heard, but have yet to confirm, that her husband used to work for BP and that she sued the Interior Department to get polar bears off the endangered species list. So maybe she’s not new blood after all…

Retro Rant

2008-05-08T21:04:00.002-04:00

I'm still not planning to bring all my old rants over here, but this one was one of my favorites when I wrote it. Looking back, it could use some tweaking, but I'm not in the Navy anymore, so I'll let it stand as is, in all its pissed-off goodness:

OK, so I have a MySpace account as well as this one, but I don't blog there. There is a link to my LJ there, but only one or two people from there actually come over to read it that I know of.
At any rate, they have these bulletins and I suppose it's a pretty cool way to get out information to a lot of people, as individuals repost and so on. For the third time since I've gotten the account, I've witnessed some of my friends posting "support the troops" stuff. I see at least 5 support the troops magnets on peoples' cars every time I drive somewhere around here. Speaking of cars, let me just go ahead and list the magnets/stickers that piss me off the most (that I usually see together all on one car): Support the Troops, God Bless the Troops, and God Bless America--all or most with American flag motifs. They're usually also accompanied by Bush/Cheney stickers, but I digress--this rant isn't about them.
So back to what I was saying... all this "support the troops" stuff really annoys me. I am in the military myself, and apart from the magnets people buy from the USO, I'd like to know just how this supports the troops. Now, I wasn't there for, but understand the difference between this show of solidarity and what happened with Vietnam veterans, but seriously... it seems to me that it's all people who aren't in the military patting themselves on the backs for saying, "Thank you," when all they really need to do is say, "Thank you." And not with a pathetic sticker or a bulletin post or a blog. Write to people on deployment; send care packages; cheer when people return from deployments; give to the USO.
I just don't get the "I support the troops" thing when there's no action to back it up. Sorry, but walking all the way around your car to put the sticker on it or taking the time to cut and paste some lame poem doesn't count as action in my book. Oh, and neither does praying for them. Sorry, but that "God bless the troops" shit pisses me off even more--I didn't ask for, nor do I need some stranger's concept of omnipotent blessings. And while I fully understand that you mean nothing but good things by it, why don't you think outside your own little box for once and realize that there are MUCH more universal ways to say/do/mean good things that don't have anything to do with religion? And whether or not you think it's harmless, it's an insult to my intelligence when you say there are no atheists in foxholes. Now, how is insulting my intelligence "supporting" me exactly? Yes me... I AM the troops. I'm in the military, so I think I have every right to this particular rant. I've been on a deployment, and I am serving my country. No one can call me unpatriotic for not putting an American flag sticker on my car like the masses.
To me, it's the same as people who feel the need to advertise their religion on bumper stickers. It's your religion; it should be a personal, spiritual thing... being proud of it is one thing, but certain stickers are quite "holier than thou" about it, and that's the same to me as magnets that "support the troops." Don't put a magnet on your car telling me you're proud of something; go out and fucking DO something! Until you do, you're only supporting the guy in China who made the magnet.

This is news?!

2008-04-21T12:22:00.003-04:00

Seems like it's feast or famine, eh? In any case, let's get on with it.

Seriously, CNN? Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

This is news? And from a senior writer, no less? That shit is not what I should see on the front fucking page of your website. Ever.

Besides the fact that you went for an easy bullshit piece about moms, who apparently are the standard easy-to-write-about subset of Americans, who the fuck is this NOT happening to besides the rich? What a fucking cop-out. CNN just disappoints more and more every day.

This isn't news. It's happening to everyone. What the fuck makes moms so goddamn special? Why not just make it about poor people in general; you know, the ones who are being hit the hardest by this economic down turn? Why not make it about the struggling (and shrinking) middle class? Why not a story about how the eldery on fixed incomes are trying to deal with the higher prices of everything? Moms? That's the best you lazy sons of bitches could do?
This is a goddamn special interest piece.
A lame one, at that.
I don't begrudge CNN the story, but I am annoyed that it's on the front fucking page, with breaking news. Why the fuck should I care that moms have to make their own detergent to save money any more than I care about everyone else in the entire country that might be doing the same thing?

Where the hell have you been, young lady?!

2008-04-21T07:45:00.004-04:00

I feel as if I've neglected this rant-o-rama room.
It's not that I haven't been pissed off enough to post things. Oh, I've been pissed off. Horribly so.
I've just been too fucking tired to articulate the depth of hatred I feel for the asshattery of late.
I imagine things won't slow down again until June, at which time I will no longer be wasting my time and money being treated like some truant middle schooler at a certain supposed institution for higher learning.
Then I'll take my time and money to a school that's more into treating people like the working adults they are. But I won't even do that until at least the fall, if not next spring. And when I do, there's no way in hell I'm going to try taking classes full time while working full time. Fuck that shit. Fuck it hardcore.
Lesson. Learned.

Hate, they name is... harsh?

2008-03-06T12:09:00.003-05:00

I can't stand it when people puss out on hate. "Oh, I don't hate anybody. Hate is too harsh a term."
Seriously? What the fuck is your imbalance? If you can love something or someone, you can hate something or someone else. Not only that, but you probably should. I'm all for keeping your enemies closer than your friends, and I'm all for turning the other cheek when it's appropriate (which is more situations than not), but I draw the line at loving your enemy.
I think too many people confuse hating with acting on said feelings. Just because I hate someone doesn't mean I'm going to go out slash his or her tires. It doesn't mean I'm going to be a slave to my hate and get the jitters until I piss in that person's coffee. It just means I have a healthy dose of the other end of the emotional spectrum flowing through me to balance out the love stuff that's also there (even if it's not apparent in this particular blog). I don't let it ruin my life, my relationships, or my blood pressure.
I've heard people say that hate just eats you up inside and is a waste of energy. I respectfully disagree. It will eat you inside if you're weak and stupid enough to let it. I bet the same people who get completely eaten up with hate over some things/people are the same ones who fall headlong and hard in love and let that define them, too... for as long as that love lasted, anyway. Hate and love are the extremes, and people who try to live in one and not the other aren't healthy. The hate-filled folks are just as unhealthy as the love-only folks, but I find that the love-only ones really come off as major pussies.
It's not like I'm saying you have to both love and hate every object or person in your life like there's some weird Yin and Yang deal in everything on the planet. I'm just saying you ought not act like you're "too good" to hate something or someone. You're not too good. You're off kilter. Fucknut.

If the State of Georgia was a person, I'd like to slap the stupid out of him.

2008-03-04T13:55:00.001-05:00

Georgia and I have a long, sordid history.

I hated Georgia while I lived there, but was ok with calling it home once I left.
I was not ok when, due to some new rules, I was unable to continue registering my car in my Military Home of Record where I was paying state taxes simply because I had a license from the state in which I was living due to military orders.
I was not ok when they changed the flag. I don't give two shits about the "Stars and Bars," but both of the flags that followed the confederate cloth read: "In God We Trust." Great, so now, not only was I being pissed on by my state for daring to be in the military and not living in the backwards ass fuckhole of Georgia, but I was also being excluded from the citizenry as an atheist. I'm not saying that there should be a denouncement of God, but come the fuck on. Even in Georgia, there are at least *some* people who don't believe in an invisible sky buddy.
I was not ok this morning, when I heard the latest about the water talks/fights between Georgia, Florida, and Alabama as they try to deal with the drought. Of course, talks have stalled between the states, and really, who came blame them? I wouldn't want to work with a fuck like Sonny Perdue who thinks that the other states just "still don't realize how vital and how critical Georgia's water needs are."
So what do they want to do? These fucks want to redraw the boarder to take over a piece of the Tennessee River!

Jesus Fucking Christ, I take it back. If Georgia were a person, I wouldn't want to slap the stupid out of him, I would want to beat the fuck out of him for being such a self-centered asshole who can't see past his own nose.

Wow, lady. That sure is an ugly baby.

2008-02-18T22:01:00.002-05:00

Just in case anyone out there is reading this, I want you to know right now that you will never see pictures of babies in this blog unless I'm making fun of ugly ones.

I sometimes choose to use the 'Next Blog' button to peruse the other blog offerings here. I've noticed that a lot of them are dedicated to families, and especially to children. I can see why people would do this; it's a convenient way to keep up with family from all over without clogging up their inboxes. Blood relations or not, no one appreciates 102 pictures all at once. Plus, you never know when some stranger might come by and comment on how cute your little snot factory is. And let's face it, who doesn't like compliments from strangers?

I wonder if people with ugly babies ever notice if/when people don't tell them their baby is cute. I wonder if they even realize thay have ugly babies. Do they know it deep down and deny it? Or is there some sort of invisible blinder that slips only onto the eyes of parents whenever they look at their little bundle of newly hatched flesh? I've heard of people being afraid they might end up with an ugly baby, but apparently none of those people ever realize their fears... or they don't seem to think they do.

This blog now has a purpose

2008-02-18T10:32:00.000-05:00

So, I changed the title to reflect the new purpose of this blog. This will be for my rants and any other unsavory thoughts of mine.
I've toyed with the idea of cross posting some of my old rants from my LJ here, but will hold off on that for now.
I like to use my LJ to generally keep up with folks. I don't update it daily or even weekly with the minutia of my days, but I do hop on from time to time to let people know I'm not dead in a ditch anywhere.
I like to use the Myspace blog for things I think are important/thought-provoking (always cross-posted to my LJ).
I've used the notes feature on facebook a few times, but they're also always cross-posted from/to my LJ.
I'd like for this one to stand alone. I do a lot of cross posting because there are always a few people in each of those communities that is not in one or more of the others. So far, I've linked to this one from the others, but not advertised its existence to my friends. I still haven't decided if I want to or not. There's no hiding my identity; it's all connected. I'm ok with that.
It's just that, while I don't anticipate it ever actually happening, I would kinda like it if this blog turned into something that other people from outside my other/usual circles were to start reading and posting their own rants and frustrations here, too. But there's plenty of places for that on the internet. This one's nothing new.
And yet, I find that I'll use this blog all the same.

I'll take the express elevator down, thanks.

2008-02-16T23:24:00.000-05:00

I saw a woman in the mall today with two little kids. I don't remember hearing any conversation between them to confirm my suspicions, but it seemed likely enough that she was their mother.
My first thought was, "Holy shit. Someone had sex with her. Twice"
Ick.

Certified Morons

2008-02-15T22:20:00.001-05:00

Pop quiz, people.
You're driving on I-495 (Outer loop of Washington DC) on your way to work. The speed limit is 50 in the construction zones and 55 elsewhere. 85-90% of the traffic is actually driving 70 miles per hour. There are four lanes.
You feel like going 60-65 mph. Which lane should you be in?

If you say anything other than the far right, you're a certified fucking moron!

I drive this corridor every weekday. People fail this quiz every weekday.

If you drive with your blinker on for more than 30-45 seconds and you don't actually do what your blinker is warning people your'e about to do, you're a certified fucking moron.
If you drive with your blinker on for 5-10 minutes while you're going down a road on which there are no places to turn, you should have your car keys taken away and they should be used to beat you about the head and shoulders for the same amount of time you drove with your blinker needlessly lit.

Blog, yo.

2008-02-14T10:46:00.000-05:00

I wanted to use Google Talk to catch up with some people. So I ended up with this login.
Might as well use it.
I haven't decided how much I'll use it, but all my sites are generally linked to one another.